RIP "Berta"

Last year, on this day, a friend of ours lost her life after a week long "battle" with leukemia. She was the mother of 4 children that loved her very much. We were never really close friends. I didn't confide in her, she didn't confide in me. Our husbands were close. Our kids played together, went to each others parties, and we sat in the stands at the racetrack together. I feel guilty for not "letting her in" I'm hesitant to make new friends.. I'm not very trusting.
Now it's too late.

I knew this day was coming, I knew I wanted to blog about her as a sort of memorial. It's just really odd how I got a "slap in the face" reminder today.
My husband called me looking for a number for a company that manufactures septic tanks. Since he writes down numbers on random pieces of paper, I was calling various numbers that I found written down.
Here's how the first random phone call went...
Random recipient of call: "Hello?"
Me: "Hello, who is this?" (with a slight hint of humor and embarassment in voice, since I'm the one making the call, I should know)
Random recipient of call: "Hello??"
Me: Hello???" (crappy ass phone.. I'm so sick of these crappy phone lines!!!!)
Random recipient of call: HAHAH!! Just kidding.. it's me, James, leave a message and I'll call you back"
So I hung up.. it wasn't the septci tank manufacturer. I called dh and told him I had no way of finding this number he was looking for and told him about James' funny message on his voicemail. He said "My mom and I are dealing with something right now, I'll call you back"
So then it hits me after we hang up, today is his MOMS Birthday!! I call him back to remind him to tell his mom "Happy Birthday" and he gets snarky and says "I will.. I'm in the middle of something."
The phone rings and it's James. I tell him that my call was an accident and how he ended up being called by me. Immediately after hanging up, I realize today was the day his wife died. She went to the hospital for heavy "feminine bleeding". She was bleeding so heavily that she was passing out. They didn't think too much of it because she was always pretty anemic and had actually had problems after giving birth to her children, especially her youngest. Within days of hospitilization, they found that her white counts were wacky, they diagnosed her with leukemia. She kept complaining that she couldn't breathe. She went into distress and died very suddenly.
So, I need to call him back. I just don't know what to say.
For all you mommies (and daddies), don't sweat the small stuff, don't put off anything, don't hold back your feelings. You never know when you may lose the chance.