"Mary Jane"
What's the matter Mary Jane, you had a hard day
As you place the don't disturb sign on the door
You lost your place in line again, what a pity
You never seem to want to dance anymore
It's a long way down
On this roller coaster
The last chance streetcar
Went off the track
And you're on it
I hear you're counting sheep again Mary Jane
What's the point of trying to dream anymore
I hear you're losing weight again Mary Jane
Do you ever wonder who you're losing it for
Well it's full speed baby
In the wrong direction
There's a few more bruises
If that's the wayYou insist on heading
Please be honest Mary Jane
Are you happy
Please don't censor your tears
You're the sweet crusader
And you're on your way
You're the last great innocent
And that's why I love you
So take this moment Mary Jane and be selfish
Worry not about the cars that go by
All that matters Mary Jane is your freedom
Keep warm my dear, keep dry
Tell me
Tell me
What's the matter Mary Jane...

By Alanis Morisette

For Hannah..
I'm afraid I'm not very good at raising a teenager. I'm pretty sure I'm screwing things up for her at every turn. She has been legal to get her license to drive since early Sept. and we haven't taken her to get it yet. Mark promised her weeks ago that he was going to take her and it keeps getting put off.
Tonight Heather had a dance at her school. Despite the fact that she has been a mouthy little preteen lately, her dad thought she should be ungrounded long enough to go.
Hannah got pretty upset about the whole situation, but keeps it all bottled up.

After the dance, I stopped by Dairy Queen and got the girls all sundaes. Hannah and I had cappuchino moolatte's. While we were in drive-thru, Hannah spotted a bunch of her friends from school. We were still in the drive-thru as they all left the restaraunt. She climbed over the console, into the back seat, rolled down the window, and hollared out the window to her friends. They all hollared back and waved excitedly.
We got our treats and headed down the road.. I couldn't help but feel awful for her that it's a friday night, her friends are all out running around, and here she is having a wannabe version of a starbuck's frappucino with mom. She did nothing all summer but anticipate getting her license. At one point during the summer, I really screwed up. I told her not to get too anxious.. she wasn't going to be out driving all the time. Gas is expensive.
I sorta read on *HER* online journal how badly it hurt her. I felt bad for shooting down her hopes, but even worse for reading her blog. Especially if she didn't intend for me to see it.
I'm not feeling real secure in my ability to raise secure young ladies. I'm an emotional mess myself half the time.
I don't anticipate getting much of a break from the next two upcoming teens..