Update on my dad......
Interestingly enough, this is the same song that was playing on my blog when I found him back in Oct 05
At the end of May, my dad came down from Tennessee for a visit. We had all planned to go to Scarborough Faire together. Things went horribly awry.
He spent a week with the girls and I while Mark was away in Talladega for the Nascar race. Things went great until my mom came for two nights. He turned into an ASS overnight. It seemed like he was in a pissing contest with me for mom's affection.
They headed back to my mom/sister's house. Apparently, on the way there she told him that she didn't want to marry him, she couldn't afford to marry him. He is on disability for Agent Orange exposure, and spinal stenosis. She is concerned that her retirement funds will be affected by his income (which she doesn't feel will be nearly enough) She never said she didn't want to live with him, or spend time with him. Just that she didn't want to marry him.
Well, he packed up his shit in the middle of the night and took off. He left clothes behind and everything. He called my mother in the wee hours and apologized for taking off. Blamed it on my sis having a dangerous pet "around his grandchildren" Frea is a 1/2 wolf, 1/2 rottweiler.
I wasn't to be excluded from his shit talk either... I had no idea that he had an issue with my 1/2 pit, 1/2 dalmatian puppy. Till my mother and sister told me otherwise. There were many hateful letters sent back and forth between my older sister and him. She finally realized he had done enough damage and marked his emails as SPAM. I have not heard a thing from him in a month.
I honestly don't think he has a problem with the dogs. I think when he realized that mom wouldn't support him, he abandoned us once again.
I flip back and forth between regret for having searched him out and found him. I don't think I'd have been any better off if I'd have been raised by him. So I'm glad I got to find that out.
I hate that my mom has been once again screwed over by a man, and it was my fault.
I hate that I have his eyes. Not only the poor eyesight, HIS EYES.
I hate that I let him in so fully and trusted that he really missed us and couldn't find us. Why was it so easy for his mother to find us and send letters? Why was his brother able to contact us and let us know when Grandma passed? It all makes sense now... he could manage on his own before.
Interestingly enough, this is the same song that was playing on my blog when I found him back in Oct 05
At the end of May, my dad came down from Tennessee for a visit. We had all planned to go to Scarborough Faire together. Things went horribly awry.
He spent a week with the girls and I while Mark was away in Talladega for the Nascar race. Things went great until my mom came for two nights. He turned into an ASS overnight. It seemed like he was in a pissing contest with me for mom's affection.
They headed back to my mom/sister's house. Apparently, on the way there she told him that she didn't want to marry him, she couldn't afford to marry him. He is on disability for Agent Orange exposure, and spinal stenosis. She is concerned that her retirement funds will be affected by his income (which she doesn't feel will be nearly enough) She never said she didn't want to live with him, or spend time with him. Just that she didn't want to marry him.
Well, he packed up his shit in the middle of the night and took off. He left clothes behind and everything. He called my mother in the wee hours and apologized for taking off. Blamed it on my sis having a dangerous pet "around his grandchildren" Frea is a 1/2 wolf, 1/2 rottweiler.
I wasn't to be excluded from his shit talk either... I had no idea that he had an issue with my 1/2 pit, 1/2 dalmatian puppy. Till my mother and sister told me otherwise. There were many hateful letters sent back and forth between my older sister and him. She finally realized he had done enough damage and marked his emails as SPAM. I have not heard a thing from him in a month.
I honestly don't think he has a problem with the dogs. I think when he realized that mom wouldn't support him, he abandoned us once again.
I flip back and forth between regret for having searched him out and found him. I don't think I'd have been any better off if I'd have been raised by him. So I'm glad I got to find that out.
I hate that my mom has been once again screwed over by a man, and it was my fault.
I hate that I have his eyes. Not only the poor eyesight, HIS EYES.
I hate that I let him in so fully and trusted that he really missed us and couldn't find us. Why was it so easy for his mother to find us and send letters? Why was his brother able to contact us and let us know when Grandma passed? It all makes sense now... he could manage on his own before.
posted by Cathy at 5/22/2006 07:28:00 PM
5 Comments:
I'm sorry you are at odds over your father. Some people just have a different philosophy of life and can't handle the responsiblity of loving and supporting another. Sometimes, they have to force the issue to make others see the truth in a situation. Its not your fault he's left or what he's done to your Mom. He's just not capable of being your ideal. Hope this makes sense.
Cathy, I'm so sorry to hear that your situation with your father turned out this way. We will keep you and your family in our prayers for healing.
I think you were very brave to seek him out and very strong to trust again.
Ditto what Counting_blessings said, and I definately wouldn't say it's your fault. It is most certainly his. Now you know.
Just wanted to echo what everyone else already said. I know how thrilled you were with your father back in your life. I can only imagine how crushing it was when he left again.
Hugs & Love!!
I just want to agree with everyone else--it's not your fault! Your dad is responsible for his own behavior. I'm sorry things turned out the way they did, but happy your family was strong enough to send him on his way.
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